Goodness. It’s literally been weeks since I’ve been able to write something truly personal. I’d accepted this would happen, I just didn’t know how exactly it would feel. Either way. I need to get an update out of my system.
Since this whole dating website thing, there’s been dates, and lots of other nifty little adventures I have to share.
I’ve yet to meet the girl. I’ll speak more of her later because, frankly I’m not sure where on earth that situation is headed. She’s shy and hesitant to meet me. We’re uncannily similar, and I think we both know the reason we’re hesitant is because we know there will probably be something. It’s taking time. I’m alright with this.
There was a boy. The passionate one. He’s intense. I can tell he’s already starting to become overly close to me and I’m doing my best to avoid his upset. I shared with him, that I was taking this slowly. That it was the reason for my distance. I’m being upfront.
Last night.
Last night I went on a first date. This boy for now is the uncertain one. I call him that because I’m in the dark.
We met online, we talked. Then suddenly we stopped talking for a bit of time. I poked back, he responded. We shared that we’d both thought for some silly reason that the other desired to no longer correspond. We laughed and talked for a good time. We met last night. Had drinks and I’ve never met a funnier boy. I shouldn’t say boy. He’s a good few years my senior, actually. I’ll say boy, regardless.
He’s the funniest boy I think I’ve ever met. We hung out for hours and didn’t hide the fact that we were attracted to each other. He’s also one of the most considerate people I’ve met, to date. We went out to the car and were shy. He put his arm around my waist and we spent some time talking. Then he says to me..
‘Now, the question is, is it okay if…’. I cut him off, nodding my head.
‘Yeah…’
We kiss for a little while then he goes to leave. I pull him back one more time. Then we go.
You might wonder, what’s there to be uncertain about dear?
Well, frankly, I continually second guess myself, and assume the worst somewhat often. Also, there was alcohol involved. I know often times boys tend to get a little carried away around me whilst drinking. I’m a comfortable person to be around, I know this.
Now I’m not sure how he seems. He’s so hard to read through text. I have no idea what’s going on now.
————
I was going to elaborate on that, but… as soon as I wrote that sentence, he IM’d me. I cracked and ended up saying:
“Hey, excuse my loose lips and all but.
I just wanted to be super awkward and say i’m sorry if i like, you know, said or did anything stupid last night because.
well i’m really really good at that. and so, if i crossed any lines or, something like that.
yeah. sorry.
i’m gunna go do a workout now.”
He proceeded to reassure me, explain that he had no regrets about last night. That, yes, he did drink a bit, but remembers everything and had a great time.
Boy: “On a slightly different subject, not to sound too creepy or sappy but…it felt good having you lean your head on my shoulder. Made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.”
My night is going much better now.
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/02:03 AM
